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 I’ve always loathed cleaning. Cleaning house is number four trillion, five hundred million, eight hundred thousand, fifty-two on my list of favorite things to do. Right between whitening my teeth and tweezing tiny bits of broken glass from the bottom of my foot.
So it’s with a great deal of shock that I’ve come to realize that my life’s passion—animal rescue—requires a great deal of, well, cleaning.
Welcome to your nightmare! And yes, Alanis, it is ironic! Like rain on your wedding day, every day. Like scrubbing ten thousand spoons when all you have patience for is wiping off a single knife.
Such a jokester, this Gaia! Such a funny, funny gal.
Wiping up, mopping, sweeping, laundering—these are the four basic food groups of an animal rescuer’s day. Not to mention dusting, scraping, peering, fluffing and turning endless circles with one’s wrist on any vertical or horizontal surface.
So in the spirit of, um, not putting my head in an oven, I have decided to make friends with cleaning! Make cleaning something sweet and fun and life affirming. An activity I can wake up and feel good about. Look forward to. Or at least not have to get drunk to attempt.
Along those lines, I’ve discovered I hate the smell of cleaning products even more than the act of cleaning. Pine-Sol plus vomit, smells like vomit. Mr. Clean plus vomit smells even worse. Flowery-smelling cleaning liquid plus vomit—I mean, please! Why not just chloroform us and call it a day?
Not to mention the huge amount of horrible chemicals and plastic packaging that ends up in the landfill and/or aquifer.
Luckily, I’ve discovered a wonderful recipe. And a wonderful fact: orange peels plus vomit smells like… orange peels! It’s a very wondrous, life-affirming thing, indeed. Plus it’s so easy to do, even I’ll do it.
Fill a few Mason-type glass jars with orange peels. Cut the peels into small, neat, symmetrical pieces if you’re so inclined. I’m never so inclined…. Dump a bunch of white vinegar over the peels—enough to cover them completely . Shake the jar every day for, say, three weeks—or at least when you remember to. After three weeks, the orange peels will have infused the vinegar, and the resulting cleaning product will actually smell great. And do a great job.
Hint: To remember to shake the jar, keep it next to something you’re sure to see every day. I keep mine right next to the candies! Some people store their jars next to the channel changer. Really great, moral, upstanding people near their gym bag. I don’t know any of those people! But whatever works for you.
Updated 4/3/10; originally posted 3/1/09.
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