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Being a new mom, I was of course on high alert to every sniffle and cough uttered by my nine-week old. Having that awareness compounded by the recent swine-flu outbreaks had me ready to hunker down with the baby and never leave home again as soon as we started sniffling. My favorite pediatrician in the whole world, mine, is well versed in handling folks like me. I’ve been a germophobe as long as I can remember and now I’m a germophobe plus one.

I worked in public health for a good stint and recall with great clarity the annual training, wherein we were permitted to abandon our normal tasks and responsibilities and focus all our attention on the impending doom of pandemic flu. This is Jessica, the germophobe, mind you, being handed even more fear-inducing knowledge to compile neatly into her fear-producing head. This is the individual who was walking into the pediatrician’s office in the present tense with a sick infant.

So I ticked off my kid’s symptoms to the doc and he nodded, looking ever so much like Steve Martin, a slight smile playing on his lips. He didn’t seem alarmed that my son sounded like a percolator or, in the midst of all of these fear-mongering headlines, that I did, too. He confirmed that junior and I were both under the weather and passing the bug back and forth. He also reminded me of the need to assess my sick kid as if I were deaf…  I took a look at my smiling, kicking baby and felt a bit stupid.

“He doesn’t even know he’s sick, does he?”  I asked.

“Probably not,” replied the doc.

In fact, my baby seemed to get a kick out of the new sounds he was producing sans effort.  I can’t remember a time when I found wheezing exciting, but perhaps there was one…  Before I scooped up all of these adult fears that I regard as “healthy” and “educated.”  Back when I could see most novel things as fun. Before I began patterning my responses after the reactions of the adults around me.

“In the end, it’s about your comfort level.  If you’re not comfortable with how he’s doing, then you should bring him in and we’re happy to have a look,” the doc added.

Walking out of the pediatrician’s office with my fear abated, I felt permitted to do something I had never done before: follow the lead of a two-month old. He was smiling and coughing, a bit delirious perhaps, but I kissed his cheek and thanked him for his mindfulness. His favorite activity at this moment is sleeping with his cheek pressed against a soft blanket. That sounded pretty fantastic on a Thursday afternoon…  So that’s what we did. We napped, and by Sunday we felt better again.

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